"You need a reality check. You suck as a singer. Get a job you HOMO. If you have a kid you have no business raising a child. You are going to mess up his life. Just like you messed up yours. Jesus Christ loves you. Repent from your sins and be normal."
10 years ago, had a complete stranger messaged me on Facebook like this I would have been pissed. I would have allowed him to hurt my feelings. I probably would have vented about it to anyone who would listen, which really would just perpetuate awful feelings.
When I discovered this message I ended up laughing out loud in disbelief. People like this exist. Then I was sad. Sad that this man clearly has a lot going on. I decided to screenshot the message and post it on instagram and fb to help remind myself and others that we still have a long way to go when it comes to hate and ignorance.
What I didn't expect were over 110 comments. What I didn't expect was to have people fight fire with fire. Some people, out of love for me, messaged him awful things and some even commented on how awful he looked and how stupid he must be. I ended up deleting the entire post.
Hate, meet hate.
I appreciated the gesture very much. But in what way can this help? I think that is an important question to ask right before a blow. My sweet cousin asked me if she could give him hell. I said, "He's already in it." The only thing that ends up happening is we remain in the state of hate for even longer. As humans, our emotions take over sometimes. When we bond with other humans we want to show our love and allegiance. But what if we could take one step back and look through another persons persepective?
If I try and do this I see a man who is probably struggling with his own sexuality. I see a man raised by fear. I see a man who genuinely believes his brothers and sisters need to find the Savior. In his eyes, he may be trying to protect me from eternal damnation. His words do not mince me because I already know my worth. He clearly does not see his.
Next time I see hate on social media I can make the choice. Stoke the fire and watch it blaze or walk away knowing it will eventually die.