There are three types of small talk that many of us have been part of. The classic, "How's the weather out there" knee-jerk conversation mover, the more harmful "did you hear..." gossip chatter, and the "Yea I'm actually not that awesome," cut-myself-down nonsense.
Then there is the life-giving conversation which I will refer to as "Big Talk." It's like a really long bout of laughter. It feels so great to get something out of connecting with someone else. Sharing ideas, being vulnerable, finding ways to make an impact and cultivate ground for community.
I have a handful of friends that I almost always have deep conversations with. When I think about what they have in common, they are usually people who have gone through struggles. People who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable with me. People who don't have time for a lot of small talk.
Meaningful conversation don't always mean 39-hour conversations. It could be as simple as a 1 minute Lyft drive. Planting seeds that bloom into thoughts that turn into change. Basically I wanna walk the walk and talk the big talk.