My father and I disagreed
My father and I were alike
Some phone calls we’d raise up our voices.
I yelled so hard once that I cried.
I blamed him for damage I noticed.
I cut him right out of my life.
I built up a wall all around me.
If he wouldn’t call why would I?
Summers we had to go see him
I miss being there by the bay
My father was strong and erratic
Wound like a top on most days
Then sickness came knocking kept knocking
The moment had so quickly come.
My sister she thought he was sleeping
My little niece dialed 911
If only once more I could call him
If only to feel through this numb
One year preceding his death
I realized the grudge was so dumb
Somewhere along the way
Forgiveness fell on both our sides
It didn’t matter which one of us called
What mattered was we were alive.
When the moments they feel far too heavy
In the moments I take off the gloves
I find consolation in knowing
Where there is loss there is love.